Not Simple, but Necessary: A Parent's Burden (On Jewish Education)

[I apologize for not following up until now on my earlier posts on Jewish education; work and exhaustion got in the way. – aiwac]

Before I get into the issue of how to teach, I would like to address the more important question: who should teach.

Tons of symposia, lectures and conferences are conducted year in, year out on Jewish schools – both here and abroad. I don't think there's a single aspect of Jewish education that hasn't been scrutinized to the nth degree. Yet in all the fuss, we seem to forget that the primary burden for passing on the Torah lies with the parents. The original mitzvah of chinuch is on the father (the mother is expected to do so naturally).

Too many times in the past, I have heard sob stories of this or that kid who "went off the derech" or who conducted themselves abominably, only to hear - "but they came from a nice Jewish home". But what does that mean? Aside from sending them to Jewish schools and keeping mitzvot at home, what Jewish content was passed on in this home?

What were the divrei Torah 'round the Shabbas table like? Were they meant to inspire the kids and bring them in on the conversation, or were they boring lectures meant to mechanically quote the Godol of the Week? What (Jewish and general) values, if any, did the parents try to inculcate into their children? Come to think of it, what did they do towards their education besides "help with the homework"? When children had questions and dilemmas of faith and problems regarding halacha – did parents listen empathetically and try to help, or did they drive them away or shunt them off to someone else?

Education doesn't just happen in the classroom. It takes place at home as well – through osmosis, mimesis and all the other indirect experiential methods of learning.

If parents really want to help with education, then instead of just constantly intervening with schools, they need to work on themselves – religiously, knowledge-wise and morally. No more outsourcing everything to someone else. It's time for Jewish parents to say to themselves – "the buck stops here".